Queen Bees at the Office

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Diversity Inc. recently featured this article citing a Zogby study that indicates 71% of workplace bullying is women harassing other women.  Last year a study by researchers at the University of Toronto indicated that women working for other women were more likely to have high levels of stress.  My heart sinks when I read this kind of research because it confirms our worst stereotypes about the female boss.  Even more disheartening, my personal experience has been that female bosses are, in fact, more likely to bully.

Nataly at WorkIt Mom! writes about this phenomenon too — we hate to admit it, but it does seem like there are a lot of difficult women in leadership positions, and their attitudes negatively affect the entire office.  She suggests that because women operate from a position of power scarcity, they are constantly competing with one another, and there’s little incentive to help someone who might be a future competitor get a leg up.

Nataly and I are not alone.  When management consultant Mary Sherry wrote about women and workplace bullying a few years ago, she received dozens of responses supporting the idea that women are more likely bullies than men. 

Sherry suggests that women who “don’t have the managerial competence to get the best out of people” may turn to bullying instead.  While it may be true that women have fewer opportunities to gain management skills than their male counterparts, I don’t think the bullying is about competence as much as confidence.

Just as with many teenage “Queen Bees,” women who bully don’t have the courage and self-esteem to listen, ask for help, accept useful input, and delegate effectively — all key management skills.  Instead they feel threatened, and are likely to panic in stressful situations.  The problem is cyclical: women lack confidence, so they are less effective managers, leading to poor performance that further reduces confidence.  

But if they yell loud enough, acting like they are whipping the team into shape, women can give the appearance of efficiency.  That’s one of the reasons bullying is so infrequently punished; bullies are perceived as doing a good job, often by their male CEOs.  

Which bring me back to the stereotype of the bitchy “Sigourney Weaver in Working Girl“ type-boss.  This is still the image many male (and some female) senior managers have of a good manager.  That’s part of the reason such unacceptable behavior is routinely tolerated.  We can cry all we want about the Queen Bees, but it’s their supervisors who allow the bullying to continue.  Just one more reason we need more working mothers at the top.

Related Links:

• The Thin Pink Line on how not to get stung by Queen Bees.
• Tips for surviving workplace assholes from the brilliant Bob Sutton.  I also think his “15 Things I Believe” are well worth taking to heart.
• Punk Rock HR asks whether the Queen Bee syndrome really exists.
• Dawn Rosenberg McKay offers suggestions on dealing with workplace bullying.

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Tags: queen bees, working mother, workplace bullying