In Gayle Lemmon’s recent Atlantic post about Marissa Mayer, Lemmon quotes an aunt as once telling her “never import other people’s limitations.” I was reminded of this reading New York Times health columnist Jane Brody’s piece today The Ideal and the Real of Breast-feeding, in which she argues that the “breast is best” campaign is making women, particularly working women, feel profoundly guilty.
First let’s acknowledge that breast-feeding is very hard, regardless of whether you work or not, and some women are better off not doing it for various reasons. And working mothers do face some particular challenges in this area, especially if they are hourly employees who have limited break time. But acting like nursing and working are deeply onerous, even mutually exclusive, for most women ignores the many thousands who do it successfully — some even happily — every day.
Even more troubling, Brody’s article exudes a “feel-good” feminism (this is a feminist issue) that is more and more present in these sorts of discussions. In this framework, the individual choices that make us happiest are “the best” for us. Women who argue passionately for one thing or another are shut down as fueling “mommy wars.”
This promotes a kind of magical thinking that ignores the data. Empirically, not every choice that makes us happiest is “the best.” In the case of breast-feeding, the American Association of Pediatrics, the National Institutes of Health, and the World Health Organization all say that breast is best in the first six months of life. That’s a lot of doctors and research that Brody dismisses. The same thing happens when we talk about women leaving the paid workforce: we have the longitudinal studies, and they suggest that statistically women who stay in the workforce are happier, healthier, and more prosperous, even if they do face some difficult years.
Would a columnist like Brody suggest that we shouldn’t promote exercise because circumstances make it difficult for some, leading to guilt? We don’t stop encouraging people to moderate unhealthy eating and drinking habits because it leads to guilt. And yet with breast-feeding, where there is equally good evidence of benefit to children’s health, protecting the mother from “guilt” becomes more important than giving mothers all the information they need for optimal decision-making.
This doesn’t mean that every mother should breast-feed. There are lots of reasons not to do it, and babies (including me!) who are not breast-fed do just fine. But we shouldn’t tell ourselves half-truths about the data — studies show that breast-milk has important benefits, and that it is ideal for women to nurse for at least six months. Women can and should be able to handle this truth without going haywire.
One of the things that bothers me most about the Brody piece is her complete disregard for evidence. Over and over again she quotes a 2009 article by Hanna Rosin that was condemned by the American Association for Pediatrics as ill-researched. Rosin’s data was very thin, and the piece was meant to be provocative above informative. It should never have been used as a primary source in the New York Times. Furthermore, for women who live in places with a compromised water supply or weak controls on formula manufacturing, breast-feeding does have important health ramifications for babies.
So why would a journalist of Brody’s caliber rest her case on shaky unscience? Because she wants all women to feel good about their choices. Because women need to honor and support each other.
But we can honor and support each other without throwing out rational thinking, math, and science. The women’s movement, feminism, and indeed, women’s personal relationships need not be about consensus, and we should expose magical thinking for what it is. On an individual basis, women need to be very, very careful not to import other people’s limitations.
Mamabee, just discovered your blog through Chrysula Winegar’s blog and love it. Thank you, thank you for putting a stake in the heart of junk science and Mommy War BS. A huge pet peeve of mine. This article seems to me to be part of a larger trend of anti-science thinking and social relativism that is prevalent today – but that’s another rant! Breastfeeding and working moms is one of those hot button issues that never die.
I can tell you that of all the emails I get from women who read my blog, I get a lot of questions about how to keep breastfeeding going post maternity leave because the data is conclusive that it IS the best for baby. That said, my message is always the same, do what you can for as long as you can and don’t stress. End of story. I couldn’t agree more that honoring and supporting other women doesn’t have to come at the expense of rational thinking. Well said!
Oh no- is someone taking another swipe at breastfeeding? And implying that it can’t be combined with work? That drives me nuts. I remember that Rosin piece, and it was horrible. I breastfed both of my kids to ~2 years old, and both times, I went back to work when the baby was 3 months old. My way may not be right for every woman, but it sure wasn’t impossible. Or even that unpleasant.
Of course, I live in a state that has had right to pump laws for years, and I work in an office job with a lot of autonomy, which makes pumping easier.
Even here in crunchy coastal California, I don’t know anyone who felt pressured to breastfeed against their will. I do know several people who wanted to breastfeed and couldn’t make the pumping work out, because even with the laws protecting them, their jobs didn’t reconfigure easily enough. Maybe if we want to support women’s choices, we should figure out how to let them have their choice?
Cloud: you know, I’ve been thinking about this — who are these women who feel so miserably pressured to breast-feed against their will? I know it can be deeply disappointing not to be able to do something you had hoped to — especially where childbirth and rearing are concerned. But simply making breast-feeding more visible, accessible, and supported shouldn’t make women feel badly. I couldn’t agree more — we need to make women’s choices more viable by rethinking the cultural and professional environment for new mothers, rather than giving up the fight.
Portia: “do what you can for as long as you can and don’t stress” — I love this message. It’s the right one — reasonable and proportional. And your blog is terrific. I’m adding it to my blog roll tonight.
The issue I have with the Breast is Best campaign is not with the point of whether or not it is healthier for your baby than formula. I admit I have not read many of the studies, but I can say I agree that breast milk is heathier. But that does not make it “best”. Best implies that anythign else is a less optimal choice, and therefore a poor choice. Best is not limited to nutritional content, or the bonding that some mothers feel from breastfeeding. The best choice, when considering all factors involved, is relative and different for every individual. Was it best for me even though I was in so much pain that I cried every second I was awake and couldn’t bear to even look at my child never mind hold her when i wasn’t feeding her? Is it best for the mother who needs to go to her job and provide for her family and cannot be there to nurse or have time to pump? So go ahead and say it is nutritionally best. But emontionally, financially? I take serious offense to telling me that by choosing not to breast feed (after a painful trial period), was NOT best for me and my child.
“But simply making breast-feeding more visible, accessible, and supported shouldn’t make women feel badly.” Yes, that. At the end of the day, “feeling badly” is a cognitive choice that requires our own permission and our own complicity.
We alone know the particulars of our own lives. I wouldn’t do the things that were required for me to breastfeed either of my two babies. I feel good about my choices even though I know the current science is perfectly clear it was not the best thing for my children. Maybe some of this has to do with whether or not we are personally able to handle bad facts or not. I guess too many people want new facts when the actual facts would have them conclude they’re not doing the “best” for their children at all times. Me, I’m a satisficer, not a maximizer, so second, third, or fourth best is often ok with me.
Anonymous, that’s a fair point. “Breast is Best” is catchy, but it might be better titled “Breast is Better”. It’s surely true that breast-feeding isn’t an emotionally optimal choice for all mothers.
Hush — I love your point here, which gets to the root of women being insecure about the choices we make. Women are bred to expect perfection from themselves, but of course we can’t always live up to that ideal. That doesn’t mean that we should abandon high standards, it just means that we need to accept that we make trade-offs that prevent us from reaching those standards all the time. It calls into question the paradign of declining female happiness and whether that might be in part about us not satisficing enough, but insisting that we meet every recommendation of every boss or teacher or doctor or child development specialist to the letter of the law.